Day 10, So Far So Good

I am enjoying continued progress with the goal of tapering. Nine cigarettes all day! That is a new record. Another was a four hour period between cigarettes during the day - unheard of. I was busy working and when I normally would take one of those reward breaks I thought "why bother?" In fact when I finally finished work for the day I didn't really want one. But Quit Day had not arrived so I went ahead and lit one up for for the heck of it. Once home with a cool beverage they came a little more frequently but still, nine? I'm increasingly convinced I can do this.

It was another sleepless night, worse than Wednesday. I figure I will eventually become so exhausted I'll have to collapse. Strangely I don't feel that bad during the day. Perhaps inhaling a small fraction of toxins I normally do is having a beneficial effect. Do you suppose?

Day 9, It's Doing Something...

My first full dose day on Chantix brought mixed results. My goal of tapering has been easy and I smoked only eleven cigarettes when normally I would smoke thirty. It was no problem although the lethargy persists. The down side was nighttime. Tuesday night I had trouble sleeping and chalked it up to eating too much for dinner. (I hate to go to bed on a full stomach and I really don't eat that much anyway.) It appears I was wrong and am experiencing side effects because although I was in bed and I was under the covers and in vain I kept my eyes closed I slept very little. Too little. Despite its importance and my love of good sleep it does not come easily to me so this was very disconcerting.

I am all too familiar with drug side effects and realize this will subside in time but at two something this morning I began to wonder whether it was worth it. Then again, temporary lack of sleep does not kill; cigarettes do. Once I finally did sleep I enjoyed a vivid dream for all to short a time. It is not uncommon for me to have intense, lifelike dreams but this was particularly "interesting."

Knowing I am wont to enjoy the evening out after work tomorrow (Friday) I am pushing my quit date to Saturday, September first. That is an easy anniversary to remember.

Day 8, First Full Dose

Today will be my first full dose. One milligram in the morning with a light meal and one after dinner. So far no side effects aside from feeling lethargic. But that could be a lot of things. Now I am not exactly sure what to expect but yesterday afternoon I just didn't seem to have a taste for the cigarettes. That is they were somehow less satisfying. It could have been the heat as it was an unusually warm day and standing outside smoking in the blazing sun is less than pleasant. Or it could be the Chantix. The part of my daily routine I need to focus on is once I get home and relax in front of the television. It is too easy to light up mindlessly. It's a long ingrained habit. I bought carrot and celery for snacking and need to incorporate that into my evening routine. Otherwise I am cutting back and feeling pretty good about it.

Day 7, "Steady As She Goes"

I think, especially after the weekend, I got a little down and impatient. Some kind and thoughtful souls have reassured me and I feel better. I'll just focus on my little projects and have faith that the day will come whether it is day eight or not. Many thanks to those of you who have stopped by and left messages of support and encouragement. I don't feel like I'm doing this alone. Good luck to us all!

Day 6, Here's Hoping...

Yesterday was a bit of a let down. I didn't log my smoking and didn't make an attempt to cut back. I just behaved normally. Over brunch I spoke with an acquaintance who is on Quit Day plus three and taking Chantix. He claimed he didn't consciously cut back but did as a result of the drug. Cigarettes became unappealing, he claimed. Now I am only beginning day six on the drug but I have yet to experience anything like that. And I was hoping too. Hoping something would happen to make smoking less desirable thus easier to quit. Quit Day is technically four days away. We shall see. As for today I am back to logging my habit and doing the Get Quit exercises.

Day 5, Mixed Results

Saturday has come and gone with mixed results. I headed out for the day to run errands and such and left my pack at home. I checked out one of the local gym's which is a great facility and would do nicely except they do not have a rowing machine. I rowed in college and want to get back on an "erg." (The gold standard is the Concept 2 rowing ergometer. Anyone who has ever rowed likely has a special love-hate relationship with them.) Afterward I stopped by the bank, had a burrito for lunch, got my hair cut and did a little shopping. Normally an afternoon like this would include a cigarette between each stop but not yesterday. After a while I felt a little woozie but not bad. And with a fresh haircut I received a few complements making me feel extra special.

Later in the day I stopped by the local haunt where there was a memorial of sorts for a regular who had passed away recently. Between drinks and the pot-luck meal I broke down and lit up a few bummed smokes which blew my goal out of the water. Now I could easily get down on myself about this but in my experience beating one's self up for small failures is counterproductive. So, I'll log what happened and learn from the experience.

A few more chores today, mostly cleaning, and perhaps I'll treat myself to brunch. I am very keen on cleaning as I know the apartment smells awful. After six months of two heavy smokers in this little place it's going to take quite an effort to scrub in down, clean the carpet, and air it out. I just keep thinking how nice it will be once it is all done.

Day 4, The Weekend Is Here

Yesterday I was one over my goal of twelve cigarettes. I've been trying to cut out two a day leading to my quit date of Thursday August 30. It being Friday I headed to the local watering hole for Happy Hour after work, It's a locals place filled with friendly faces and supportive people. This would be a challenge so I left the pack at home. I broke down and bummed one during my two hour stay which I think is pretty good considering.

Today is double up day, increasing the dose from one half to one milligram. I don't believe there is enough in my system to have a serious effect so I am already pleased with the reduction I have managed. The pharmacy slapped one of those little warning stickers that it might cause drowsiness. I have felt a little more lethargic than normal but that could be any number of things including the power of suggestion. Otherwise so far I have not noticed any side effects.

I think the weekend will be a bit of a challenge as I am not stuck behind a desk for the majority of the day. Typically I have an aggressive to do list and end up achieving only a fraction of the items. This weekend I am focusing on projects to reinforce the quit. From the mundane like cleaning and cutting up carrot and celery stick to munch on while sitting in front of the television to checking out a couple of the local gyms. (I'm terrible about eating vegetables and I don't get enough exercise.) I have a vision of a happier, healthier, cleaner life without cigarettes. Time will tell if I have the will to make it happen.

The quitting community continues to surprise and inspire me. I have barely started and already others have reached out with words of encouragement. Thank you all.

Day 3, Positive Headed Into The Weekend

Day three and I face the weekend with enthusiasm. Aside from slipping a bit on my goal of fourteen cigarettes for the day I feel very positive about my prospects. (My biggest trigger is now crystal clear. How to deal with it is something I need to work out.)

Yesterday evening I grabbed my green bag and walked to the grocery for a few things. It's a trip I have made many times and like clockwork I know exactly when to light up so I'm done by the time I arrive at my destination. It's a three plus block walk past some local shops and bars and I decided to leave the cigarettes at home. Well, not only did I actually enjoy the walk I noticed the people on the sidewalk smoking and thought "that was me" and how unhappy and frankly unhealthy they looked. I felt good, not superior, just good. And I have not completely quit yet so I am really enthusiastic about the future.

Day 2, Reflection on my first day.

So far so good.

I enrolled in the GetQuit online support plan provided by Pfizer. I don't yet know how helpful it will be but I figured it can't hurt. There are daily activities and the first was to log each cigarette smoked and a few details. Like many, I've tried to quit before and one concept that is consistent is that of "triggers." Looking over my log for yesterday I see a big trigger: interaction with my "ex." (We have recently separated; it was a difficult and painful relationship.) In one hour I managed to smoke as much as I had in half a day. Otherwise I did pretty well and came in 2 cigarettes under my goal.

That goal was to reduce consumption by two a day for ten days prior to my quit date assuming a pack a day habit. (I fibbed when I claimed only a pack so I've had to be more aggressive than cutting two a day.) Still, I am on track and feel an unexpected sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Day 1, Getting Started

Today I started taking Chantix in an effort to stop smoking. Literally, less than an hour ago I took my first dose, one half of one milligram with a bagel and a large glass of water in the morning.

After twenty plus years it is (past) time to quit and I am hopeful that with the drug, some good advice and assistance from my health care provider and whatever will I can muster I will succeed. I am documenting my experience in the hope that it will inform and possibly inspire others to follow suit. (We all know what is best, however one quits.) I chose the assistance of this particular drug because I know others who have successfully quit with it. I do not at this time condone its' use nor am I an employee or agent of its' maker, Pfizer. (Nor am I a lawyer so that is about as legal as I can come up with.)

In addition to my experience with the drug, and perhaps more importantly, I intend to document what life is like after cigarettes. Especially after so many years. It is life changing and to be perfectly honest I am nervous. But that is the point isn't it. To be life changing, improving.

Of course, feel free to post questions and comments. I'll endeavor to respond as I continue to document my experience.