Saturday has come and gone with mixed results. I headed out for the day to run errands and such and left my pack at home. I checked out one of the local gym's which is a great facility and would do nicely except they do not have a rowing machine. I rowed in college and want to get back on an "erg." (The gold standard is the Concept 2 rowing ergometer. Anyone who has ever rowed likely has a special love-hate relationship with them.) Afterward I stopped by the bank, had a burrito for lunch, got my hair cut and did a little shopping. Normally an afternoon like this would include a cigarette between each stop but not yesterday. After a while I felt a little woozie but not bad. And with a fresh haircut I received a few complements making me feel extra special.
Later in the day I stopped by the local haunt where there was a memorial of sorts for a regular who had passed away recently. Between drinks and the pot-luck meal I broke down and lit up a few bummed smokes which blew my goal out of the water. Now I could easily get down on myself about this but in my experience beating one's self up for small failures is counterproductive. So, I'll log what happened and learn from the experience.
A few more chores today, mostly cleaning, and perhaps I'll treat myself to brunch. I am very keen on cleaning as I know the apartment smells awful. After six months of two heavy smokers in this little place it's going to take quite an effort to scrub in down, clean the carpet, and air it out. I just keep thinking how nice it will be once it is all done.
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3 comments:
There is definitely no reason to beat yourself up. As you said, that would be counterproductive anyway.
Today is Chantix Day 8/Quit Day 2 for me and so far so good!
I continued to smoke as usual before my Quit Day - the goal, for me, was to let Chantix build up in my body before I quit. During those 7 days, I never cut down on the number of cigarettes I smoked, in fact I'm sure there were a couple of days when I smoked more than usual. But I KNEW that when I woke up on Quit Day, I would not smoke again and I haven't.
I am in no way suggesting that you change your plans to cut down...everybody has his or her own plan. I'm only offering some friendly advice: maybe you are too focused on how much you're smoking now, when imho, it doesn't really matter how many you smoke because 1 cigarette is one too many! I think (again, imho)it will help if you just relax, smoke(until your Quit Day), and let the Chantix do its magic!
Hang in there, you can do this!
I agree with MsTekLady - no need to get down on yourself at this point. The Chantix is still just starting to do its thing, and the full force won't happen until you've been on the full dose for at least a day or two (which was why I didn't even aim for Day 8 and planned it for another week out when I knew I'd have the best chance for me personally - not recommending, just explaining). Once you are quit, that's when it counts. Each person does need to do their own thing, but I'd hate to see you feeling like you've done let yourself down in any way before the real quit has even begun. I needed full confidence and knowing that I'd smoked all I cared to headed into the big day. Just try to relax and don't be too hard on yourself. You'll do just fine once it's the big time.
Thank you both! Especially after yesterday the encouragement is really helpful.
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